Here’s what you’ve been waiting for The greatest challenge you face when learning how to say NO is overcoming the feelings of fear, guilt, and shame that arise when you let people down. Those are not feelings that are easy to overcome. In many cases, it takes years of practice. Today, we will be revealing the 3 BE attitudes of NO:
– Be direct and straightforward ?
– Be honest ❤️
– Be proactive ?
“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.”
– Paulo Coelho
1. Be Direct and Straightforward ?
It is always best to be clear when you decline requests. You don’t want to leave room for any misunderstanding to take place, because it will prolong the conversation and increase the level of negative feelings.
Don’t try to beat around the bush and don’t sugarcoat your NO. Instead, be straightforward about your unwillingness to do whatever you’re being asked.
Let’s look at two examples:
“I can’t help you right now.”
“I can’t help you right now because I’m working on an important task that is due today.”
The first response may lead to the person questioning if your NO is a personal rejection.
The second response justifies your rejection as reasoned and practical. Be sincere, yet direct.
When declining people’s requests for your gifts, you always want to make sure you’re clear. Don’t leave it up to interpretation. By doing so, people may automatically assume you will do whatever they ask of you.
Also, don’t beat around the bush. Don’t equivocate, hoping that it’ll calm the requestor, because it won’t!
2. Be Honest ❤️
When saying NO, there’s no need to lie or make up excuses that you think will sound good. If you make up excuses, you run the risk of feeling even more guilty about saying NO. Even worse than that, the person on the receiving side of the NO may be able to see right through your lie. The best approach is to turn down the request with a simple “no,” and resist the temptation to tell a lie. Try using the response above if you feel you must give an exact reason for your NO.
3. Be Proactive ?
Have you ever heard the quote, “It’s better to be proactive than reactive?” This quote can be used in many different contexts, but today we will look at the quote to mean that it’s better to be quick with your NO than to prolong it. Here’s why…
Stalling is a bad idea.
First, it gives the other person hope that you may eventually say yes. It encourages them to build up an expectation for your help, which ultimately makes your NO even tougher.
Second, stalling makes you seem indecisive: When you fail to respond with a direct NO, the requestor may become more assertive with the belief that they can persuade you to say yes.
When building up the courage to say NO, you will have to decide to put your hopes and dreams before someone else’s and be proud of it. Stand firm and be assertive. Saying no does not make you a bad person. Instead, it makes you a decisive and strong-minded person.
You got this. Keep going!
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