Good Afternoon!
November 1st was a holiday here in France called “La Toussaint.” It’s a day when people honor the lives of their deceased relatives. They visit special church services and place flowers on family graves. Many businesses close to allow their employees to participate in the special day.
Learning about La Toussaint reminded me of the importance of intentional self-care. Culture today trains us to put a bandaid on grief and use it as a tool to become stronger. Many times people aren’t allowed the space and time necessary to grieve appropriately. A psychotherapist named Megan Divine learned this lesson from the sudden loss of her husband. She eventually began helping others who suffered from the loss of a loved one and discovered effective ways of interacting with grief and supporting others who are dealing with grief. In today’s email, we will look at a few of her methods.
1. Companionship
Companionship, not correction, is what a person experiencing grief needs.
We live in a world that believes anything uncomfortable is wrong. So, professional and personal support for grieving people usually seeks to get them out of grief as quickly as possible.
Megan Devine believes we need to switch to truth mode by admitting that some losses cannot be transformed into something useful, have no reason, and do not have a silver lining. We should acknowledge that loving each other suggests losing each other. That’s when we will begin to learn how to live with the loss of someone we love. We need to learn how to lose just as much as we have learned how to love.
2. Quiet Support
Close friends and acquaintances want to provide support but lack the right words. So, it can be better to be quiet than to try to speak words of comfort. Most of the comforting words are dismissive of the pain.
3. Endless Love
Love is the way to reduce suffering. Embrace pain without being engulfed in it by connecting it with a heart that loves. Separating suffering from pain provides healing and support in grief. Suffering comes when your pain is overlooked or judged. Pain is a healthy response to the loss of someone you love.
Ultimately, show love. Whether you’re the one experiencing grief or the support system for someone. Save this email to come back whenever needed.
Keep going!
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