Good afternoon!
Life is hard enough, don’t do it alone. Building healthy relationships requires good communication, both listening and speaking.
It’s hard to understand someone fully or accurately share your feelings if you can’t find the words to say and can’t listen actively to the other person.
In today’s email, we’ll look at two lessons for better communication.
1. Learn to listen to understand, not just to hear the words
Most people assume they’re good listeners, but they simply just hear the words. Good listening requires more than that. It’s about trying to understand and look beyond just the words spoken.
Learn to listen actively, and you will avoid a million issues in your relationships and other areas of your life.
The first step to active listening is to avoid thinking about anything else and instead zone in on the other person. Use empathy to see things through their eyes. Then, really listen to their words and watch their body language and other non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions and hand gestures. Avoid trying to second guess what they’re going to say or thinking about what you want to say.
Next, really listen to how they’re speaking to you. Pay close attention to the tone of their voice, how fast or slow they’re talking, and whether they’re stumbling over their words. Emotions aren’t often expressed properly in words; non-verbal cues usually tell you how the person is feeling. Active listening allows you to recognize this and read between the lines.
Once they’ve finished talking, and you haven’t interrupted them, repeat back a summarized version of what they’ve said to show them that you listened and understood them. This can help to deepen conversations because the person feels valued and safe to voice their feelings.
2. Learn how to accurately convey your thoughts and feelings for a better connection
It can be hard to express your feelings in a clear way that encourages the other person to sit and listen to you.
Bento C. Leal III, author of 4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication, suggests that a good starting point is to think about what you want to say beforehand. This avoids saying things in the heat of the moment that could be taken the wrong way or cause further damage. Also, make sure that you’re using statements beginning with “I” rather than “you” to reduce the chances of the other person feeling like you’re blaming them for how you feel.
When you’re speaking, be mindful of what you are saying, and choose the words carefully. Make sure you’re clear and concise and check the tone of your voice. Rather than being assertive with your tone, be soft. This will encourage the other person to listen to what you’re telling them.
A common problem for people trying to express complex feelings is that they jump from one feeling to another, which is confusing for the other person. You can stick to one problem at a time and get straight to the point. It’s also a good idea to express gratitude to the person once you’ve finished explaining, thanking them for listening to what you’ve said.
This type of back-and-forth type of communication enhances relationships in life, work, and love. Healthy relationships lead to healthy mental well-being.
Keep going!
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